October Reflections on Proverbs 31: Day 3, Verse 3

"Do not spend your strength on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings."

The word "strength" here is referring to wealth. Is Lemuel's mother saying never to buy anything for any girl ever? No, we see in the next words she speaks of the kind of woman she is warning her son about: "those who ruin kings." She tells her son not to waste his "vigor" ("conduct" or "way of life") on such a woman (The Strongest NIV Exhaustive Concordance). 

What kind of woman ruins kings? An obvious example we have is Jezebel in 1 Kings. Her husband, Ahab, was a shell of a man because of her evil ways and her firm grip on him. 

"Jezebel is fiercely independent and intensely ambitious for pre-eminence and control...Jezebel, literally translated, means 'without cohabitation.' This simply means she refuses 'to live together' or 'co-habit' with anyone. Jezebel will not dwell with anyone unless she can control and dominate the relationship. When she seems submissive or 'servant-like,' it is only for the sake of gaining some strategic advantage. From her heart, she yields to no one" (Francis Frangipane, The Three Battlegrounds p. 112).

A given component of Jezebel is her immorality but the motive behind her seduction is not simply for seduction's sake; "immorality is not the issue; control is what she seeks" (Frangipane, p. 113). 

"There is a spirit which works with Jezebel. The effect of this demon is that it floods the soul of a man with weakness and fear...When Ahab was king, Jezebel ruled. The man who cannot govern his household in godly, protective authority will not exercise his spiritual authority elsewhere" (Frangipane, p. 132, 133).

Ahab was Jezebel's puppet and with the flash of her make-upped eyes he was mesmerized to follow her down paths of ruin. He allowed her to help him lead the sons of Israel to worship the Baal's and Asherah instead of their God. The result was utter destruction. Not only were the false prophets of Baal executed, but Ahab and Jezebel suffered gruesome ends as well. There is a high price to pay for joining lives with those who walk according to what is right in their own eyes--a price Lemuel's mother says he cannot afford to pay. 

We hope one day our children will marry  a godly husband/wife. Let's not assume this will happen because they grow up in Christian homes. Pray for their future spouse. Pray that they will have discernment concerning motives in their relationships. Our children are sons and daughters of the King, but even kings can be led astray if their heart strings are attached to the wrong person with impure motives.

October Reflections on Proverbs 31: Day 2, Verse 2

2 "Listen, my son! Listen, son of my womb! Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers!"

You ever feel like a broken record, like you have to repeat yourself over and over for your kids to listen? Undoubtedly you've felt this way before but Lemuel's mother is not repeating herself because he's not listening. She's repeating herself so he will listen.

In this passage, the repeated words "represents a literary style found in Hebrew forms of writing. The repetition is a form of emphasis. When we want to emphasize the importance of a word or phrase in English, we have several methods. We can boldface it, italicize it, underline it, use all capitals, or add an exclamation point. A Jewish writer could indicate emphasis by repeating a word. Usually, the word is repeated twice" (John Bevere, A Heart Ablaze p. 158).

Two words/phrases are repeated not twice, but three times! This mom means business! "Listen" is accompanied by "my son," "son of my womb," and "my son, the answer to my prayers." I can't help but notice that with her stern call to hear her words is the sweet terms of endearment she couples them with. It's as if she's saying "listen to me--because I love you so much." Isn't it easier to listen to someone who has your best interest in mind? Because this mom loves her son and make sure he knows it, her words of wisdom do not fall on deaf ears. This son can trust what his mother tells him because her love for him is so great.

Perhaps that is the cross-over for Lemuel, and why his mother's advice went from mere parental opinions to his very own sayings and way of life. Love is the glue that made her lessons stick.

This reflection is two-fold. First of all, we can learn from Lemuel's mother to couple guidance and correction with love. I've heard it said "rules without relationship equal rebellion." Our kids need to know the "why" behind our words and it's not because-I-said-so, because you are the kid and I am the parent and you will do as you're told. It's because we love them and want to see them flourish. 

Second, we can relate this to our God. He is our Father who loves us so much. Anything He has to tell us is because He loves us and not because He's a kill-joy who loves rules. We can be Eve all over again in the garden at the fall who mistrusted the One Who made her, who formed her. He loves us and wants us to hear His voice saying "Listen, daughter of mine! Listen, daughter Whom I made! Listen to Me, daughter Who I've longed for!" We can heed His words and live!

Pray with me: God, help me to fuse love and discipline, love and correction, love and wisdom in how I parent, because that's how You parent. You discipline the one's You love (Proverbs 3:12). Let my words have weight because of the love I have for my kids. Help me to know Your great love for me and that you can be trusted. Let your words of correction to me be received because of the foundation of Your love. Amen.

Proverbs 31: Reflections Through October Day 1

It occurred to me today that October has 31 days and Proverbs 31 has 31 verses. What better way to head into this season of change than to reflect on one of those verses every day during this next month! Won't you join me?

Proverbs 31

Day 1, Verse 1

"The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him."

Who was King Lemuel? Scholars guess it's probably Solomon. His name means "devoted to God."

Here this mothers: even kings need to be taught. Jesus Himself needed to be taught! You may have dedicated your littles at church, they may go every Sunday with you. But what are they learning from you, mom? 

King Lemuel didn't just have an idea of what his mama told him, they were attributed to being his own sayings; things he believed in! They weren't just his moms opinions. We can have opinions all day long, but we live what we believe. 

Our kids are ripe soil for anything to grow. So much potential! So much care goes into tending our tender ones. We don't grow into our destiny because it's written in the stars; it's not by happenstance. There are seeds that need to be planted along the way in our lives so we grow into the fullness of all that God desires us to be.

Whether we know it or not our kids are watching, listening, waiting for inspiration from our lives to flood into theirs. Who or what inspires you as a mom? I guarantee it will flow out of your life into theirs, for better or for worse. 

Pray this with me: God make me aware of my influence as a mom. Give me the grace to live wholly inspired by Your great love for me. May my life be flooded by your mercy so I may have mercy to give. Teach me how to teach the children you have entrusted to my care. Give me wisdom to tend your lambs. Amen.

In the Midst of Chaos

Have you ever sat down to pray, read your Bible, been on the phone with a friend having an iron-sharpening-iron conversation then suddenly the world goes awry? All the children who were happily playing with each other in the quiet before the storm just moments before are now needing 1 and 2 and 3 different things from you. Someone spilled something on the floor and someone else is playing in it while someone else just tracked it across the room. The laundry you just folded is now strewn down the hall and they are fighting over who gets to sit in the basket. Someone else has 8 urgent questions only you know the answer to. The floodgates open wide and your moment of peace, your desperately needed God moment, seems to evaporate in the craziness. You feel time slip from your grasp, you feel the pressure to just let it go. And you might do just that. 

Can I encourage you, mom? Jesus was born into chaos. During Roman oppression and a massive census with no room at the inn He was birthed into a smelly, dirty, dark and cold animal shelter. All this with a jealous king on a killing spree on their heels. They fled for their lives, living as poor refugees in a foreign land. He is not afraid to enter our chaos. He was born for this!

Jesus beckoned the children to come to him when the adults didn't want Him to be bothered by them. He sat the children right in the middle as an example to them. Your children, as rambunctious as they are, are always welcome in His presence. 

Jesus healed, did the miraculous, with mobs pressing in on him. The woman with the issue of blood just reached out to touch the hem of his robe and was healed from years and years of pain and suffering. If we could only press through the crowd and noise to touch Him--we will meet the Healer. His strength and power is for the weak and weary. It's for you, woman. Press in.

The times I've tried my very best to create the most perfect and quiet moment to meet with God in my day, the other shoe drops. Whether it's with friends and we're doing a devotional, having prayer or just my own time with God, it usually never goes according to my plans of un-interruption and perfect tranquility. And it's stressful when things don't go how I envisioned them, how I thought it all out in my head how God would be near. But He already is: unafraid of our mess, not annoyed by our loud children, and unphased by our one thousand pressing issues all at once. 

While at another mom friend's house I was sharing some of this with her because just the day before we were trying to stream the Holy Ghost documentary and the distractions and issues that erupted were tantamount. My first reaction was irritation, then frustration, followed by anger then defeat and guilt--after all, trying to be open to what God would show us now became eclipsed by how I fall so short. 

We were in agreement that we really should remain unphased by chaos as Jesus was. Later we decided to pray for some needs we were aware of and we were not too long into the prayer before the kids we had just sat down with a snack and a movie began to get loud. The loudness turned to rough-housing, which turned to crying. There was snack stealing and snack spilling which also led to crying, asking for more snack, asking for different snacks. Then they wanted to sit with us on our laps and try to take things they shouldn't have off the table, blow out the candles on the table, someone had to use the bathroom, someone was trying to play in the bathroom, someone took the wrong sippy cup, someone wanted juice instead of milk--the distractions rose up like a kicked hornets nest that demanded our attention. And, unphased, we would pause our prayer, get up and redirect, right a wrong, answer a question, meet a need, dry a tear, then sit back down and dive right back into praying. It was amazing that instead of getting annoyed and irate, we just dealt with whatever issue arose then continued to seek The Lord. I can tell you that the result of pressing in to touch the hem of His garment was glorious.

As my friend began to pray for our families she paused and I saw this quick vision in my mind. She began to pray again and was praying exactly what I had seen in the vision! I said "I just saw that!" And she replied, "I know, so did I!" In the vision I saw this big tree and there was fruit on the branches and the fruit would fall to the ground and our children would come happily and pick up the fruit and eat it. That is the fruit of the Spirit in our lives, what God desires for our families. As we grow and abide in Him, the natural result is His goodness of the Spirit which overflows into fruit that our families are nourished by. After prayer we sat there in awe and with tears of how God had been faithful to meet us in such a beautiful way!

Don't give up, press in. He is happy to meet you where you are at, mama. Not only spiritually but physically as well. At your kitchen sink, kissing boo-boos, in the midst of chaos--He is there with you. Have that Mary mentality to receive from Jesus that which cannot be taken from you. God is drawing you to Himself and doesn't need complete quiet or a deep meditative state to show up. He will meet you right where you are at because He loves you and wants you to know it.

Speak to Me

My oldest son Marty has Down syndrome. He is mostly non-verbal, but that doesn't mean he doesn't communicate. In fact, he can be most "vocal" with what his non-verbal cues are telling us. 

Pointing, grunting, yelling, a few sign language words, jumping up and down with a smile on face, taking your hand and pulling you in the direction he wants you to follow him to--just a few of the ways he "talks." Last night he was laying next to me and I kept tapping him on the nose which was followed by his own giggles and squeals of delight. I stopped for a moment and he grabbed my hand, pushed down all my other fingers except my pointer and then he tapped on his nose with his own pointer finger because the game was far from over!

He has been in speech therapy for four years now and his speech seems like it needs deciphering or decoding at times. I  tend to give in to frustration instead of stopping to take the time to "listen" to what he's saying. The problem isn't with his lack of communication--he's often speaking loud and clear if I would simply take the time to stop and hear him.

And it is the same with God. We beg God to speak to us, we're all ears until listening requires some effort. If He's not fast enough or the message isn't what we want to hear or how we want to hear it we stop listening and claim He's the one with the communication problem.

Slow down and wait. He's speaking. Listen with your whole being. Quiet your mind and heart. Seek out the quiet space to hear Him loud and clear. You'll get the unfiltered message what God is really saying instead of the poor translation of what you think He's trying to say. You'll find that He's been speaking all along.~*

Whom Shall I Fear?

The morning of our Moms + Kids event God was speaking to me about a lie that I had begun to believe. It was so freeing to see the lie for what it was and yet so maddening at the same time. I had been douped. Instead of a sharing a feel good devo on enduring as a mom and a wife at our play date, God was leading me to share freedom with His bride. 

Doing the Breaking Free study by Beth Moore (it's awesome, pick it up if you haven't yet or do it again--truth is timeless). God uncovered a lie, one that He had freed me from, but I had let it take hold again.

The lie? It's ridiculous. I've even heard it in Christian circles before: I am supposed to have a healthy fear and respect of the devil. 

The truth: the enemy of my soul--who hates me and God, who has no respect for me or my God--the one who only comes to "steal, kill, and destroy" (John 10:10) deserves a healthy fear and respect? ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Where is it written?! The Bible says to "Fear the Lord your God, serve Him only..." (Deut. 6:13). 

It is a sick and twisted lie. Think about an abusive, demented kidnapper who demands respect from those they've taken captive. Our enemy doesn't play fair. He's unmerciful and bent on seeing us fail. Why would I ever have a healthy fear and respect for anyone like that?

"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me" (Psalm 23:4). He is with us--we do not have to be afraid. I think of the Israelites and the countless times they were outmatched by their enemies. God did not tell them "just have a healthy fear and respect for your enemy" He told them "do not fear, for I am with you" (Isaiah 41:10)! In fact, the only ones who had reason to be afraid were the ones not on God's side!

Read Psalm 3. Be encouraged, be bold. Know God is with you and you have nothing to fear!

Jesus, Our Bridegroom

So with Palm Sunday and Easter approaching I thought it would be good to do a themed devotional for our Moms Night Out meeting. I sat with a book on Jesus, a compilation of various writings about His birth, life, death and resurrection. Lots of great writings and insights from various authors over hundreds of years. But God lead me in a very different direction. 

I put my wedding bands back on after cutting up some raw chicken. 

"...Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the Word and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless." (Ephesians 5:25-27)

Christ, our ultimate Bridegroom. Before we even knew Him or wanted Him, He knew us and wanted us. He wanted us. He pursued us. One of our moms drove this point home last night. It's so true! How can we not help but respond to this kind of love that draws even the hardest of hearts?

"I delight greatly in The Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For He has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of His righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, as a bride adorns herself with her jewels." (Isaiah 61:10)

If God would have made us slaves of the King that would've been enough. But we don't have to cower when we come before Him! We deserved death and He gave us life. He clothed us in His own glorious righteousness and made us His bride. He desires more than just our redemption, He desires a relationship built on the intimacy and trust a husband and wife would share.

"As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over His bride, so will your God rejoice over you." (Isaiah 62:5)

"The bride belongs to the bridegroom..." (John 3:29)

Just as a husband and wife would enter a life-long marriage covenant so God desires to establish an everlasting covenant with us. He is excited to share this with us as His beloved! He belongs to us, and we belong to Him. 

Whether we are married in this life or not, Jesus is our ultimate--the perfect Husband who gave His life for His bride. He is the best example for what a godly husband should be. Our earthly husbands will fail us but it was never their place to completely fulfill us the way that our Heavenly Bridegroom can. This certainly doesn't excuse poor behavior on our husband's part but it puts them in the grace-filled realm the rest of us are a part of instead of on a lofty pedestal they were never meant to occupy.

Take time to reflect on the beautiful reality that Jesus is our Bridegroom! He is so much more than Redeemer. He's the Lover of our Souls.